Quick Thoughts: Scary Thoughts

When your relationship of nearly four years falls apart, a lot runs through your head. “What could I have done differently?” and “What am I going to do now?” are two big ones, but “Who am I going to hang out with?” is the scary one, especially if you were someone like me, who wrapped up so much of her life in her significant other. It’s scary for a little while, to be on your own for the first time as an adult, but maybe if you’ve got half my good luck, you’ll have a friend who was a part of your life step in, almost out of nowhere, and suddenly your whole life changes.

When your single partner-in-crime of just four months tells you “I met a guy!” a lot runs through your head. “”Is she going to leave me?” and “What if he doesn’t like me?” are two things that come to mind, but “What if I lose my best friend?” is the scary one, especially if you were someone like me, who had never been single in her 20s and was expecting a lot more time with her showing me the ropes of the bad bar scene in NYC. It’s scary for a little while, when they start dating and it’s serious, but maybe if you’ve got half my good luck, you’ll realize from day one that this guy is someone different, and he fits in the group like he was meant to find us, and suddenly your whole life changes.

When you wake up the morning before their big day, a lot runs through your head. “I can’t believe it’s already here!” and “Oh god I’m already nervous” are two of the first thoughts that pop in your head, but “I’m so fucking excited for them!” is the big one. Because maybe sometimes when your life changes in ways you’d never imagined in such a short period of time, it’s scary, and all sorts of terrible thoughts run through your head. But then again, if you’ve got even an iota of my good luck, you’ll be staring down a weekend dedicated to two people you love more than anyone celebrating how they love each other above all else.

So here’s to love, bridesmaids dresses that decidedly don’t suck and a weekend with friends in fancy gear watching two people say two words before taking the first steps into forever. My R&H, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected when it comes to you two, and I wish you a life of perfect surprises – most especially, the ones that start out as scary thoughts.

PLD Montage Vol. 2.3: Surprise Edition

I love surprises. There’s something so fun about planning a surprise for a friend or family member, surprise visit, surprise party, surprise gift. I’m not great at secret-keeping necessarily, given my tendency to talk too much and too often, especially to fill an awkward silence, but when it comes to important things like first dates and surprise parties, I work really hard to keep details on the DL until it’s finally time to share. After the fantastic surprise party to celebrate the engagement of my lovely friend M and her N last month, most people would have toned down party-planning mode, but in fact, my fashionista C and I had another party in the works at the same time, which came to fruition this weekend, when we surprised our partner-in-crime R with a bachelorette drag brunch and a bridal shower on C’s roof. There were so many wonderful moments this past Sunday that I’ve been trying to chronicle in a succinct story, but the more I wrote, the more I realized there was only one way to memorialize the day.

So without further ado: PLD Montage, Vol 2.3: Surprise Edition

  • As mentioned above, C and I were planning the parties for R at the same time we were planning the party for M. We had group texts going with both of the girls talking about two different parties which were the primary forms of communicating details among ourselves.
    Lesson learned: ALWAYS, always, ALWAYS confirm you’re sending the correct group text when simultaneously planning surprise parties. Literally, always.
  • We’d decided that C would handle most of the decorations etc. for the bridal shower, while I’d handle plans/decorations for the bachelorette brunch. Losing my wallet on Memorial Day continued to enhance my life by completely screwing my budget, which meant I couldn’t actually order anything for brunch until five days before the big event. Not wanting to deal with the inevitable screw-up of the Washington Heights post office, I decided to have the decorations shipped to my office, where they thankfully arrived just in time on Friday for me to spill the beans to my coworkers about the plans for the weekend, and have them insist to see the decorations that I’d ordered.
    Lesson learned: Maybe don’t take out penis-shaped memorabilia during office hours.
  • The day before the party, C, M and I met at C’s place to bake the treats for the bridal shower, including R’s favorite banana pudding and a paleo cupcake recipe because we’re all a little crazy. M and I had a *few* drinks at happy hour the night before and had spent the morning eating and relaxing at her apartment, trying to balance our blood sugar after too much wine. Though we spent literally the whole morning eating, upon arriving to the Financial District to bake, we decided we needed a smoothie to chase all of the hangover food just before getting to C’s place. Oh, and then we brought chips and salsa to C’s place as an accompanying baking snack. And also ate some of the Nilla wafers while making the pudding. Also sampled a cupcake. Oh, and some of the frosting.
    Lesson learned: Eating everything in sight does not make your hangover feel better and actually might leave you on the couch at home on a Saturday night with stomach cramps that make it impossible to move.
  • The plan for the day was simple: M, C, R and I would meet for drag brunch at noon, which was actually R’s surprise bachelorette party, and then head to C’s rooftop where more friends would be waiting for a surprise bridal shower. When party day finally arrived, M and I went down to the restaurant early so we could decorate the table with the aforementioned silly bachelorette decorations, like a chair ribbon and uber-classy penis centerpiece. After setting everything up, we went to the bar to wait for R and C to arrive, bouncing with a nervous excitement. And then another bachelorette party came in and the poor girl got really excited when she saw a decorated table.
    Lesson learned: There’s no better way to put a damper on someone else’s bachelorette party than running to the table where she’s trying to sit down screaming “THAT IS NOT FOR YOU.”
  • Brunch was wonderful and just as drunk as brunch should be, and there is even a video of R lip-syncing on “stage” to a song that she hates (which I am not allowed to share but FYI it’s amazing). We got in a cab on the way home and took awkward photos together, trying to distract R from the slowly-rebuilding nervous energy, as the rest of us knew that the surprises for the day weren’t over yet. We confirmed everyone had finally arrived to the surprise party and I distracted R in her apartment for a few minutes before we walked to C’s rooftop; I tried to keep it cool but I was a little too tipsy and kept bouncing around while we walked to the roof. We made it to the roof and I let R lead the way, looking for M and C, until she stopped and said “Are. You. Serious.” while smiling, as she saw the pink tablecloth and a big group waiting with surprise smiles. The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying perfect weather on the rooftop, drinking champagne and eating treats, watching R open presents and ending with big hugs all around, since the next time we’ll all be together in the not-so-distant future is at the wedding.
    Lesson learned: Maybe it’s difficult and stressful to plan two surprises on one day for your best friend, but watching R surrounded by love and friends (and presents, of course) was worth every freaking second of it.

It’s bittersweet sometimes, looking towards the end of the summer when my one-time single partner-in-crime will become someone else’s other half. I don’t think I could have survived the first few months as Single LB in the city if it weren’t for her pushing me out of my comfort zone and into a lot of vodka. And yet I’m looking forward to that wedding, probably not quite as much as she is but definitely a lot. She brought H the Scot into my life, our lives, and in his crazy, Scottish way, he makes the group feel complete. It’s definitely been a wild year of surprises as they’ve fallen in love and planned a wedding, and I have memories (and sort-of memories) that will last me (mostly) forever. Throwing her a day of surprises leading into the next few months was the least I could do to pay her back for all of the memories, lessons and love she’s brought into my life in the past year.

So here’s to the next chapter for my partner-in-crime and her Scot! I foresee a follow-up to this post after their wedding, where I’ve already had to swear “no vodka” and am only mostly positive my bridesmaid’s dress won’t lead to everyone’s favorite game of “If you see something, say something” with my boobs. But until then, the above lessons in love, surprises and PLDs should keep us grounded for the busy summer ahead.

VAAAY CAAAAY

Guess who’s on vacation!

*~*DIS GURL*~*

My lovely friend M, her N, my fashionista C and I are taking a very well-deserved break from the city to head up to Maine for a few days of eating, drinking, beaching and sleeping. I have a mini-staycation planned after that in the city, so will be taking a few days off from anything that isn’t Netflix and Seamless to recharge and reboot. Will have a Maine recap up as soon as I can, and a fun “announcement” to share in the coming days.

Hope everyone enjoys the beautiful mid-October weather and is as well-rested as I plan to be in 24 hours. As a parting gift, here’s a photo of little miss trying her hardest to figure out yoga mats:

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See you next week, kids!

UPDATE (Oct. 24): Unfortunately, the teased announcement above has been postponed by a month. Whomp whomp. Look for the news around Thanksgiving!