Like the new title? I figured new year means new language count for the Conversations! Here we go again:

On states of emergency
M: Can we change the channel? I don’t want to watch weather anymore
N: Well at this point, Snowpacolypse and Deflategate are our only options.
Me: That says a lot about society, doesn’t it.

On primping
Friend: You look so cute! Are you wearing makeup?
Me: Nah, just a little mineral powder and mascara. Oh, and I filled in my eyebrows. Oh and this new lip stain from Birchbox.
Friend: So… yes.

On coping

On text-tiquette
Me: Yeah, apparently he found our drunk texts annoying so basically I’m over it.
Mama B: Oh lord. If your father was that uptight about my drunk antics we would have divorced a long time ago.
Me: MOM.
Mama B: Remember when I invited the whole cruise table to your sister’s wedding? Still trying to get out of that one.

On coping (pt. 2)

On dating
Me: It’s like the Sopranos. He’s like my Feech La Manna.
Friend: … What?
Me: You know, “Didn’t I learn anything from Richie Aprile?”
Friend: … What?
Me: Like, I’m Tony, and The Child was Richie. You know, “nip it in the bud” and all.
Friend: … Girl if you are comparing your dating life to a mafia drama, we need to seriously reevaluate your priorities.