Oh, the idiot things I still manage to get myself into these days. Without further ado:
- Recently I drank vodka after an unlimited mimosa brunch and then put pictures online. I feel like elaboration is unnecessary there.
Lesson learned: Stop drinking vodka. Seriously, stop.
- That same night, I decided to hand my keys over to my partner-in-crime R because “I didn’t want to lose them” and apparently giving them to someone else instead of keeping them in my purse was the best decision. At the end of the night I cabbed home from FiDi (aside: THAT IS NOT INEXPENSIVE) and my neighbors let me into the building, only for me to have a full-blown white girl wasted meltdown in my hallway when I couldn’t find my keys. A few tearful phone calls to R later determined that she did, in fact, still have the keys and I am, in fact, an idiot. Nothing like paying to ride all the way back downtown after the initial ride all the way uptown.
Lesson learned: SERIOUSLY STOP DRINKING VODKA.
- I’ve recently discovered my love for yoga in the mornings, since I can access YouTube on my television and there’s a bunch of free videos. I’ve been working on different poses and was recently in the throes of the crow pose, which I can hold for about six seconds before toppling, usually backwards. While on my mini-staycation in Connecticut a few weeks back, the weather was too beautiful not to do yoga outside on the deck, so I dragged out a mat, went through my vinyasa, and then went into crow… and all of a sudden I was up! and balanced! and way too excited about it so I lost focus and promptly fell forward. Hard. Directly on my chin. On the deck. This was three weeks ago. The bruise still hasn’t faded.
Lesson learned: Yoga mats are not pillows, and you are not as skilled as you think you are.
- At the Fort Greene flea this past weekend with my partner-in-crime R, her Scot H and AZ, we decided to take a break from rifling through vintage posters and sample just about all of the food because obviously. Seeing as it’s not easy to walk while carrying tacos, nachos, lobster rolls and popsicles all at the same time, we decided to sit on the concrete steps behind the food trucks to enjoy the food. Once I finished my own massive portion of food, I leaned back on my elbows for a little while, thinking I might get a semblance of a tan on my fair Irish skin that had already been outside for about four hours at that point. Hot asphalt + no clouds – sunscreen = really LB?
Lesson learned: You do not tan. You are aware of this. Always. Wear. Sunscreen.
- Remember this? Yeah. Lesson not learned. New record: five days.
Lesson learned: Apparently nothing.